May 20, 2012

In which lawyers become strippers…and news becomes tabloid trash.

In the category of weird legal news, we have this: “Lawyer turned stripper to pay the bills.”

(No, we don’t have pictures to prove it, and by “it” I mean that she is a stripper, or a lawyer, either, for that matter…and just like that, 99% of the readers who found this blog while Googling “stripper lawyers” have stopped reading.)

Is the economy that bad? Or is First Coast News trying to roll out the stripper-with-a-heart-of-gold story to bump their ratings?

I’m going to guess the latter. But in any case, you decide. Here’s “Carla,” explaining her dire straights:

“Did I ever think I’d be taking my top off for rent money? No. I was in my mid-30s and had never danced before,” said Carla, who asked that we use her stage name and withhold her identity and some personal details. “As a little girl, I never thought to myself, ‘I just want to grow up and be a stripper,’ or, ‘All I ever wanted to do in life is climb in the lap of sweaty stranger and take my top off.’

“But, with our economy the way it is, especially in smaller cities … you strip or you starve,” she said.

Strip or starve…strip or starve… Well, when you put it that way, it’s obvious!

On the other hand, some people have jobs and have money—otherwise, who is paying to watch you shake it?

Apparently, strip clubs are a recession-proof business.

Even in the middle of a recession, when money is tight for pretty much everyone, managers at Déjà Vu say they are still seeing more than 1,000 customers a week.

“I would say we are doing very well considering what’s been going on with the downfall of other companies,” [Déjà Vu manager] Martinez said.

But I digress. Back to “Carla” and First Coast News:

As her prospects grew dim, she went back to school to earn a master’s degree, hoping to bolster her credentials. But her financial aid came in lower than expected, her credit was battered and she struggled to find part-time work in her new town to keep her afloat.

Can you feel your empathy levels rising? Because First Coast News is piling it on pretty thick.

Everything is happening to her, beyond her control.  She is the victim of less financial aid than she planned,  low credit (due to late payments or no payments to creditors…the only reason credit drops), and not finding a job in a “new” town (which, as she notes in the story, is a “small” town). But none of that is her fault. It’s the economy, it’s the credit agency, it’s the lack of jobs, it’s government, it’s everyone but her!

She was at rock bottom.

“I went around to see if could get a job as cocktail waitress, but there was not a single retail or waitress job.  No one was hiring, except for the topless places,” she said.  “It was an act of desperation.”

She started out serving drinks as a waitress, but moved quickly to dancing “because that’s where the money is, and that’s what I needed.”

Uh, huh. Can you see the gun to her head?

Pardon me if I’m a tad less than sympathetic here. The details of Carla’s practice, her pre-recession spending habits,  and how she put herself in a place where she couldn’t afford her lifestyle are obscured by the pasties limited facts provided.

Even with what is given, I can’t figure out why Carla resorted to a career she finds so objectionable. As an “act of desperation,” I expect dumpster diving, joining the Army, moving to a bigger city, or even declaring bankruptcy so you can start all over.  Between practicing law and working retail there are a lot of employment options, even in this economy.  At least, she could have left the small town for a bigger market. Whether you stay in law or try your luck elsewhere, well, that’s up to you. But to go to something you find as distasteful you find stripping?

“Sometimes it sucks, it’s degrading and I hate it, but it is necessary right now and I’m glad I have the option of doing it,” Carla said.  “My parents and a few friends know and they were horrified at first. But now they are proud of me for sucking it up and doing what I have to do.”

Turning to stripping as an act of desperation? Sounds more like a lack of imagination or effort.

If nothing else, maybe this will end up being a cautionary tale to upcoming law students preparing to take on enough debt to finance a small home. Be careful how much debt you take on, because some day you might end up in an “act of desperation,” and you never know what that might be.

I’m just sayin’: do we really need one more lawyer stripper in this world?

For that matter, do we really need one more sensational story from the news?This isn’t journalism, First Coast News–its salacious tabloid trash.

Despite Carla’s admonition (last paragraph) to never look down on someone in the “industry,” as she calls, it, I’m more embarrassed that someone as educated as her can’t find a better way to make a buck than taking it off.

[VIA]

Which is worse on the economy?

Feel free to elaborate on your choice, and why it is a loaded question, in the comments.

In the meantime, chew on this:

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That’s been on the cover for a year now…when will it expire?

 

Here’s hoping she doesn’t mind.

That’s a lot of weed…

L.O.L of the day is brought to you by the Namby Pamby:

Attorney: According to our office manager, you are $5,000 short for the retainer payment.

Client: But I already paid you five! Do you know how much weed I had to sell to get that??!?

This is why you want to become a lawyer.

via Don’t tell me that « The Namby Pamby.

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Practice Tip #12: Dress the Part; Dress like Bond

I’d rather wear my pajamas to work. Who wouldn’t?

Maybe people would take me seriously if I identified myself as a lawyer on my hoodie...but probably not.

It would be more comfortable than the cravat I tie around my neck each day, and I could throw on a hoodie, too,  if it was chilly. Pajamas would be more comfortable.

If only.

Since we live in the real world, though, I wear what my job requires, and it makes a difference. People treat you differently and based on what you wear. Superficial? Maybe, but Twain had it right when he said that

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

It’s true. In in our “society,” people judge us based on what we wear, and what we wear should match what we conclusions we want people to draw about us. If you want people to take you seriously, you shouldn’t show up for work in a hoodie. If you’re a lawyer, that includes client interviews, calls into the partner’s office, and court appearances.

In the legal department I work in, as well as the firms many of my friends and colleagues slave away at, not to mention in court, a hoodie will just will not garner the kind of respect it did when I was a college kid.

So, how should you dress? What if picking out a tie that matches is for you, like it is for me, a daunting proposition? In that case, look to the master. And by master, I mean James Bond.

That’s right. No one knows how to wear a suit like 007.

The look is classic, simple, and maintains its style even today.

Matt Spaiser, creator of the blog The Suits of James Bond (yeah, there’s a whole blog about them, says that:

James Bond has most likely influenced people’s suit-wearing habits more than any other fictional character has. Dr. No (1962, directed by Terence Young) established the classic look for the character for the many films that followed. Throughout Dr. No, Sean Connery wears five unique tailored ensembles. Each outfit is simple, classic and worthy of imitation. The idea was to put Bond in suits that were distinctly British, but keep things simple because a secret agent should never stand out. Yet because of this simplicity, the clothes still look fresh today.

You hear that? “…worthy of imitation.” Which is what you should do. There’s a reason he gets all the girls (though looking like Sean Connery, double 0 status, and a  devil-may-care attitude may not hurt, either).  And there’s a reason that men who want to make a great impression are wearing the style of suits four decades later.

As for ties, that’s a bit more of a practical consideration than just picking out a classic and conservative looking suit. It’s also a choice you’ve got to make more often than a suit. Lifehacker suggests picking ties that match your clothes, not clothes that match your tie. In other words, look [at what clothes you own] before you leap [and buy that fantastic looking tie that ends up matching very little you own].

The point is don’t buy a tie just because it looks great–-buy neckwear that is of the right proportion for your body and is of a color and pattern that works well with your shirts and suits. You want your ties to match your clothing–not look good by themselves.

James Bond Exhibition : Science Museum, London

Image by Craig Grobler via Flickr

Remember, then, these quick tips: wear a classic suit (at least to court when you’ve got to be there), and match the tie to the suit. You’ll be hunting double agents and international criminals in no time, not to mention letting the judge, and your clients, know that you mean business.

APROPOS: If you’ve got the huevos to bust out a bow tie, go for it. It’s guaranteed to add panache to your  repertoire and you won’t have to worry about getting food on it during those expensive business meals.

(Ladies, sorry. I’m not going to even try to suggest what is professional for you.)

Law Practice Tip #7: Beware Twitter

Image representing Twitter as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

Be wise about your use of Twitter, Facebook, blogs, or anything else you post online. Assume that it won’t disappear or leave the Internet–ever. Someone will always be able to find it.

How will it affect your online reputation? Will it come back to haunt you? Think twice before hitting “publish.”

Also, if your boss is on Twitter, think twice before  accepting his follow request.

Trust me on that one.

Some Advice on Job Interviews

Bow Ties
Image by shindohd via Flickr

If you know me, you know that I occasionally sport a bow tie. I’ve even been introduced as “the bow tie guy.” However, when I showed up for the interview for my current employment, sporting a black suit and a colorful bow tie, I was tactfully told by my future boss that I was probably over-dressed. Just a tad.

Yeah. The bow tie was out. I wear khakis and a tie, now. And on Fridays, Levis.

But I still landed the job. You see, they liked me. Let me explain.

Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to take part in mock interviews up at the local law school as an interviewer for 1Ls just beginning their second semester of school. It was a surreal experience to find myself on the other side of the table, to remember my own similar experience just a few years ago, and to wonder how I presented myself at that time.

To be sure, I did not have a lot of opportunities to interview–when I finished my first semester of law school, the economy was slumping, and the law industry was about to enter one of its biggest slumps in years. On-campus interviewers were few, and I lost track of how many resumes I sent out and how many rejection letters I received back. “Bullets,” my dad called them, harking back to his own grad school experience of job applications, because they were like gun shots to the ego. For a while I kept them, like badges of honor, until I realized that they just took up space, and besides, I got a better job that had not required a letter, anyway.

Which brings me back to where I was going: the interview and why I landed a job. A few observations, both from my experience and from talking with the mock interviewees up at the SJ Quinney College of Law earlier this week. Each impressed me as articulate, accomplished, and intelligent. They’ll make good advocates for their clients someday.

1. First observation: few law students have a clue about what they can do with their law degree, or, for that matter, what they want to do with a JD, other than pay off their loans. As I spoke with these students, most of them gave vague answers about their plans in terms of wanting to work for themselves, or work ineither transactions or litigation. It was clear they had little awareness for how broad a world the law encompasses within those categories.

Ironically, I don’t think I knew much better when I showed up to my interview wearing that bow tie. However, when asked, I immediately answered that I wanted to be an effective attorney, and I left it at that, without frills or garnishment. And that’s all my boss was looking for–an attorney to lighten his work load, albeit one he could get along with.

2. Which leads to my second observation: interviewees should try to be interesting and also interested, too. If you are in an interview, you are on paper at least minimally sufficient for the job. The question becomes Would I want to spend a lot of time with this person? All of the students I interviewed were interesting, and I don’t think any of them were unlikeable. However, there were some that made me feel more relaxed than others, and those were the ones I would want to hire. They also asked questions, were curious about what I did, what the office was like, and what skills I used.  In the law, or out of it, you spend a lot of time working, maybe even more time than at home, and you might as well work with people you like.

3. Last observation: law students think about future income, a lot, maybe too much.  As law students, unless they have a ton of savings, a sugar daddy, or some other way to pay for law school, they’re taking on a lot of debt. I know that, and every interviewer, unless they’re completely disconnected from reality, knows that. Nevertheless, it was disconcerting when interviewees noted, sometimes at length, that they were most concerned about how much debt they would have.Its a valid concern, but I don’t think it conveys to the right thing in an interview. It says: I need a job, any job, not I am an asset to you, which is really what theinterviewee should be saying. My advice: leave off the salary talk until the topicis brought up by the interviewer, and even then, deflect it until you’ve landed the job. At that point, the firm/company has made their decision, and you can negotiate from a stronger position. It’s going to come up; just don’t bring it up in your first meeting.

To sum up: if you’re a law student, start thinking about what you can do with a law degree, be interesting and interested, and don’t talk about your debt or income needs. Evaluate your interests, go to breakfast or lunch with people doing what you want to do, and start planning for it. Opportunities usually come while making other plans, but you only find those opportunities when you are out making, and working, those plans. We are drawn to a person with a plan, interviewers included. It shows leadership and that elusive, amorphous “self-starter” junk that seems over-advertised and under-available (why else would just about every legal listing be asking for a “self-starter”).

On the other hand, if a recent article on KSL.com is any indication, law schools could do more to help. Some already do a lot.  I do recall a few lunch time events that brought in various practitioners to talk about things like how they got where they are, as well as a solo practice seminar during the summer.  There was also workshops on networking and resume building, and opportunities for lunches with the local legal community. However, many, if not all, of my professors had very little experience outside of the university, and what experience they did have was usually in consulting. There were a few glaring exceptions (Ralph Mabey, a bow tie guy like myself, Amos Guiora, and Daniel Medwed are among a few exceptions at Utah’s SJ Quinney College of Law), but for the most part, most professors seem to have little experience looking for work, looking for clients, or the hustling necessary to make a good legal practice fly (or even find a job outside of a strictly legal career). It’s hard to ask a professor for career advice when most of their career has been in the ivory tower (which, recently, has come under attack for ostensibly bad ideas).

What would it take to bring in a rain maker or two, perhaps an upper level executive or entrepreneur who happens to also have a law degree? Even an occasional lunch or evening seminar with such individuals would broaden and expand the scope of law student career aspirations and ideas. Students shouldn’t have to wait until the have passed the bar to start looking around to form career paths.

As for me and my bow tie, well, I still wear it, just not to the office. It was the interview that landed me the job, not my cloths or my GPA, either.

Law Practice Tip #6: Quitting the Job with Class

What do you do when a great opportunity comes along and it’s time to leave that first job?

Walk carefully. Leaving that first job, and how you do it, can have a lasting impact on your career. The legal community is not so large that reputation cannot follow you.

Valerie Fontaine and Roberta Kass over at law.com advise to plan ahead. Before giving notice, have your personal items cleaned up and out of the building in case your soon-to-be former-employer decides that two weeks notice is two weeks too much. Also, clean off your computer of any personal files. Don’t take anything that’s not yours, either; proprietary information remains with your employer.

Also, review your current firm’s policies regarding bonuses, unused vacation, sick days, holidays, continuation of health and other benefits, and any vested retirement or investment funds, beforehand, so you don’t take any action to jeopardize what is due to you. This is a good time to turn in any requests for unclaimed reimbursements, as well. After giving notice, meet with your firm’s benefits manager to arrange for COBRA, the calculation and transfer of any funds due you, and any other financial details.

Remember to advise clients of the change in relationship, and remember that they are the firms clients, first.

Other pieces of advice include:

  • Be constructive in the exit interview and don’t use it to rant or nitpick.
  • Turn in requests for unclaimed reimbursements before you resign, and review policies regarding bonuses and continuation of health care.
  • “Graciously accept” offers to go out for lunch or have drinks with colleagues, but don’t brag and don’t make the get-togethers into gripe sessions.
  • Write thank-you notes to colleagues who have contributed to your career, remember their birthdays, and, if appropriate, refer business to them.

Good luck!

(h/t to ABA Journal and Law.com)

Do you know how to use your law degree?

You don’t know how to use your law degree. Chances are, there are more ways than you think, and your professors and career counselors don’t necessarily know, either.

An article today on KSL.com says that new lawyers are entering the market uninformed about how to use their law degrees.

Some students report feeling misled by companies that appeared to be considering making a hire. Baldwin says it’s painful to see stories of young lawyers saddled with high student loan debt and struggling to find work as an attorney after they went to a school they probably couldn’t afford, thinking a degree from a well-known school was their golden ticket to a high paying job. But, he says too many people are forgetting that you can do more with a law degree than just practice law.

“There is probably not enough career guidance going on on what to do outside of law school and particularly what alternate uses there are for a law degree,” [Utah State Bar Executive Director John] Baldwin says.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. When I walked out of law school, I had enough debt to equal a small mortgage (in Texas), little knowledge of the actual practice of law, and few people on whom I could reliably call to get information.  The few I did have–mentors, contacts, and friends I had developed during my time in law school–were invaluable. However, I had a blind spot: I didn’t know what I didn’t know. And I don’t think mentors or attorneys I looked to for guidance did, either. Law schools aren’t much of a help–they’re full of people who couldn’t make it in the real world, and you know what they say: “Those who can’t do, teach.” Professors usually don’t have a lot of experience using a law degree outside of the law, and often, not even a lot there. As for the career office, all too often they seem geared up to help the top 15% who make it into OCIs, and the rest are left to fend for themselves.

What would I recommend, then? Just because you’re not in that top 15%, there’s no reason you can’t have the career you want, or any other career for that matter. If nothing else, your JD opens up opportunities for you, any opportunity you can create or take advantage of. Take a lesson from Ramit Sethi, and learn to hustle, and start to do it right now.

If you’re a law student, start asking questions, now, and start with yourself. Know thyself. Knowing what you are willing to do will help guide your search to figure out what you can do with your degree. If going it alone, family law, trusts and estates, bankruptcy, or criminal defense is a bridge too far, then entrepreneurial work or a solo practice is not for you. If long hours and low-level grind is too much, then the firm may not be for you. But until you know what you are willing to do, knowing what you can do with a law degree will be next to useless knowledge.

Once you start figuring that out, start talking to people. I’ve learned that the people who know what they want to do manage to find ways to do it. Tell everyone what you want to do. For example, if you want to work in-house, tell everyone. You don’t know who might be able to help. Start calling companies to find internships in their legal department, and if they don’t have a legal department, find out who does their legal work, and call them instead. Talk to people about it, find mentors who are doing what you want to do, and start doing it (like this guy, Tyler, suggests). There’s no time like the now, before those pesky loans start coming due, to figure out how you’re going to use that law degree.

If you’re already out of law school, already working, or have been out for while, what’s to hold you back? The same principles apply: figure out what you want to do, start talking to the people who are doing it, and start doing it yourself. The nuts and bolts will follow.

(h/t KSL , Ramit Sethi, and Tyler Tervooren)